Changes

I think my husband is the sexiest man in the world (I’m not sure how often he reads my blog but I think I have at least a few days before he makes me edit that out). Anyway, this was reconfirmed for me when we attended the Sheryl Crow concert in Vancouver last weekend. It felt, for the few hours we were out, like we were dating again.

In one of those Venus-and-Mars type moments, we both recently commented on how weird it was to be out without Hannah. I then proceeded to say how it felt like I was missing a part of my body, while he started to say how he could almost forget we had a baby!

So yes, I guess a lot of things change when you have a baby. But, not in the way people seemed to imply when I was pregnant, with the ‘just-wait-until-you-have-the-baby’ and ‘enjoy-it-while-you-can’ kind of comments. It’s more like there is a different lens on my eyes, and a different filter on my ears.

One change as a result of these filters is in how much more I appreciate spending one-on-one time with my husband. We really had fun at the Sheryl Crow concert. We were out of our seats dancing for nearly every song and enjoying each others’ company in the way that came so easily when we first met and still had that new-love giddiness.

Another change is in the way I hear lyrics. It’s cool how the same songs I’ve listened to many times have new layers and meaning when I think in terms of Hannah. The line in her song “Light in Your Eyes” makes tears (of happiness) come to my eyes thinking about how much lies ahead for Hannah:

You're just beginning…

You haven't missed it - it's all ahead of you

And, her line:

It’s not having what you want
It’s wanting what you’ve got

from Soak up the Sun fills me with a deep sense of satisfaction that I wish I could freeze because right now I feel like I have everything I could want, but I know that one day I’ll start to crave more, which leads to feeling less satisfied.

Sheryl saved her song Detours for near the end, explaining it was about how life can hand you all sorts of funky challenges but in the end it is the detours that make you stronger. Her lyrics make me want to be there for Hannah the way our own moms have always been there for David and I:
Mother, I know you are with me

You were there when I took my first breath…

Well, I’m going to go and find my husband to tell him how much I appreciate him because, as Sheryl says:

The question is:

Does anybody want you?

Does anybody need you?

…All I really know for certain, babe

Is that Love Is All There Is